Saturday, April 9, 2011
Just so you know
Just so you know, if you are reading this, it is not for attention. I just need a place to let my thoughts out. Yes, I am ready to die, soon. No I have not done any dope, and I have my meds. I also have a failsafe device to get the job done when the time is here. So fuck you, you all got scammed by the con yet again.
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Mama Zag again. Please honey, no one wants anything bad to happen to you. We know you are in tremendous pain. Please let us help. you cant hurt us any more unless we have to go to your funeral. I really do not want to do that. You are too kind, smart and talented to let your disease ruin you. I know you are hopeless now, and I know there is a lot of pain ahead as you work through all of this but it can get better if you want it to. You cant go back, what is done is done. The THINGs do not matter only you matter. I know you think I am crazy, and I know you do not understand my faith in you. But I know who you are. I know how deeply you feel. Please get help. I love you
ReplyDeleteand just so you know, you did not scam us. We knew, I knew you were struggling. I wish you had come to me, I wish you had told me about the silver. I would have been upset, but that action would not have ended it for me. I would have required tougher rules, I would have required you to go back to counseling and AA and actually get a sponser. But I would not have kicked you out, I would not have abandoned you. You are valued more then that. No one was scammed, I am just so sad that you still do not trust my love, our love. I always knew this would be a rocky road. But I would not have taken away my love over some hunks of metal.
ReplyDeleteMZ
If you have not read Zags posts (All of them!) attached to your PRison post, then please read them. He is not as kind as I am, and he is angrier then I am, but they are still said out of love and caring. Basically he is trying to smack some sense into you. He also loves you, and he is as concerned as I am, but less emotional. He is a man that has backed you and respected you and loved you for 4 years. He knows how great you can be but he can not tolerate your behavior when the addictions take control. ANd he cant watch me be sad. I am trying to get you to understand we love you and will help
ReplyDeleteto anyone that is following this passively, Seamus has been found by the police. The Momtville, Ct. police were very kind and concerned. Seamus is going to the hospital and it will give him another chance to decide the course of his life from there. as always we love him.
ReplyDeleteMama Zag
I don't know Seamus personally, just friends through Facebook. I have been so concerned for him. I am really happy that he has a chance to get the help he needs.
ReplyDeleteI don't know who Mama zag is, but obviously you are someone who cares very deeply. Thank God there are people in the world that will NOT give up. I lived with my husbands addiction for almost 15 years. People told me I was crazy, he would never change and I needed to move on with my life without him. It was hard, but I never lost hope. I knew his heart and I knew the addiction had control. He just needed to make the decision get and stay clean. He has been clean now for 10 years and we are extremely happy.
My heart goes out to Kayla, I have been in her shoes and it breaks my heart to know how terribly she is hurting. I would not want my daughter to go through anything even close to what I endured, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. At the same time, if I had given up on my husband, I would have missed out on the wonderful man he is today. That is a personal choice she will have to make.
The only way to get through this is to be supportive without being an enabler. Seamus has to make his own choice if he wants to stay clean.
If anyone talks to him, please tell him that Pam from Las Vegas wishes him the best and please tell Kayla if she ever wants to talk, contact me on facebook. I am on her friends list and I have a strong shoulder to cry on.